The good and the bad of the condom

There is an obvious good side to the condom - enabling consenting adults to enjoy sexual intercourse while helping prevent unwanted pregnancy and the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases. Some might even classify the reduced sensation for the condom wearing male an additional benefit since he might last longer than his bare-skinned brother. There is however a potential bad side to the condom. Careless consumers who leave the used product on the bedroom floor can experience increased anxiety levels if the condom cannot be found the next morning. The level of anxiety reached depends on a number of variables. These may or may not include such items as: a pre-existing heart condition, high blood pressure, the possible level of intoxication the night before, the amount of coffee consumed that morning, is the cleaner coming today and are the parents visiting tonight. One more variable that deserves special mention this week: is there a dog in the house. If there is a dog in the house, chances are your precious pooch gobbled up the you-know-what only seconds after it hit the floor. If this possibility  is suspected, it is not recommended to go online and google a phrase such as "dog eats condom" because reading the related horror stories could lead to a panicking dog owner scheduling emergency surgery probably at ridiculous cost to all involved. The preferred alternative is to wait for the condom(s) to pass naturally. This should occur approximately 24 hours after ingestion, upon which, after the initial vomiting reflex has subsided, anxiety levels should quickly return to normal. If you didn't learn your lesson the first time, a small to medium sized dog should be capable of naturally passing three condoms within a 7 day period, but this should be considered the absolute maximum. So there you have it. While the condom enables intense pleasure to many, please beware of the possible bad side of these small rubber devices, especially to any curious dogs that may be in the vicinity!